Monday, July 19, 2010

Delicious, delicious food coma

My sunburnt sweetheart went out and grabbed breakfast for us before he headed off to work, which got me thinking. I wonder if I could get Nopalitos to cater the wedding. Now that would be heaven. I would eat myself into a coma and rest peacefully until someone pulled the sword out of the stone or destroyed the ring in the lava pits of Mount Doom. For all of those who have yet to taste the mind-numbingly amazing food at Nopalitos- go. Now. Seriously, get your butts up and travel to East Sacramento and experience the best breakfast in Sacramento or one of the best lunches in the area. Go. I can see the reflection of the computer in your glasses. No matter what Corey Heart says, wearing sunglasses at night (or indoors) makes you look a bit mentally unstable. I would be more inclined to trust a liquored up Mel Gibson than someone chilling out indoors with sunglasses on. So ditch the shades and run over to Nopalitos.

Our sunburnt selves munched on the Nops goodness and alas, I believe I feel a wonderful food coma setting in, which is such sweet relief as my skin feels like it has been beaten by a hot iron. Before we taunted sunscreen users, informing them that we are all going to die of some sort of cancer and we were going to pick ours, gosh darn it!- incoming tangent.... do you know how much radiation pulses through your body when you get a CT scan of your abdomen? Or that it is strongly recommended to not have your cell phone near your head when you sleep due to radiation seepage? Thus, we decided to choose our poison, which in this case was nasty UV rays. At least you will look golden brown and tanned at your memorial. Ugh, gave myself a visual of that and wondered if I would match the exterior wood of the coffin. Moot point, however, as I would much rather be cremated and turned into a diamond ring that one of my relatives could wear on a daily basis because that would not be weird at all. B-t-dubs: that is an actual services that is out there on the internet. Apparently all you need is a bit of their DNA and the lab can whip you up a diamond made out of nanna. Ugh.

Now, my highly intellectual and logical argument to choose the noose around my neck made sense roughly twenty hours ago when it was not excruciatingly painful to lay down. I look like I colored myself with Crayola's "Commie Red" crayon. Unfortunately, I not only get to look like a Communist baby-eater but I must also live in the soul and freedom crushing mentality of the Red State (not to be confused with the freedom loving Red States who insist that we don't tread on them). After a long night of attempting to find a sweet spot where I could be in the fifth rather than sixth layer of Hell I believe I may have changed my mind on my perception of sunscreen. I don't think I will be tanning for the wedding. At best, I will get sprayed with orange chemicals and attempt to have the spewing liquid hit my body rather than my (open) mouth or mistakenly open eyes. Whaaa? I was supposed to keep my mouth shut and wear protective goggles? Knuckle-futz. On second thought, maybe I should just embrace my Asian hue of off-white/light brown and skip the chemicals and UV rays all together. That makes sense, which is why I will most likely tan and/or spray tan.

As I now have seven followers- Oh yeah, not just my mom (who by the way is not following me- lameness!) but seven-ish actual followers. Okay, so I may be following myself but how else will I know if I posted a new blog filled-ish with hilarity/chuckles/awkward laughs- I think it is the perfect time to assemble a list of Nicole's Favorite Things. Don't check under your chair, there is nothing there other than rotting gum and an umbrella that someone left after the downpour in October. Once again, most of this has nothing to do with the wedding but I am bored and you get to read about it. So there.

Mmmmmm....Nops' Smothered Burrito. Nothing and I do mean nothing beats this burrito, it is amazing!

It's a bit hard to read but that is SPF 100. Science has come to a new low! Now the albinos can roam free in society. What will we do. What can we do? Does this mean that Edward "Dreamboat" Cullen won't be as sparkly? That would totally kill his appeal for me- I like my man freezing cold (it was 101F yesterday), sparkling under the obscured and clouded sun, and pouting because nothing says mature relationship like longing looks of teenage angst in the biology lab. Does it also mean that Paul Bettany can flog himself out in the park? That must be nice for him- being able to torture himself for Jesus? I don't know- I didn't watch that movie. It looked ridiculously stupid plus I believe there was a brief discussion about religion and I'm okay with not doing that.

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