Thursday, July 15, 2010

Suck it, carnivores!

Our wedding, in congruence with our life, will be meat-free. So for all of you who are unable to continue living without stuffing your jowls with bits of cute cuddly animals, grab KFC or Carl's Jr. before the ceremony (we are looking at you, Paul).

Being vegetarian is a bit difficult in our meat-lusting culture but has gotten significantly easier due to market pressures... That sentence should convince you that I have a college degree. That settled, there are a lot of fake meat (or "feat") companies out that can offer our meatavores some options past twigs and nuts.

We are looking into the catering of Sugar Plum Bakery- we are going to go this weekend to their downtown establishment and gorge on vegan goodness. As with everything in our lives, the greatest factor in our caterer will be cost. Now, I am not suggesting that I will be hiring Downtown James Brown or Merry Christmas to throw something together but we do not have the finances comparable to Speidi. Well, actually we do now. That's what happens when you are cruel to production- you get fired and then go crazy. But this is a conversation for another blog.

As this site was put up to encourage suggestions and I have yet to inquire for them; here it is:

HELP. Seriously, what the hell was I thinking? We are raised to imagine our wedding day from infancy. From cradle to alter. But we never consider the minutiae of the day and the days to come (ominous music). Luckily, Alec and I are heathens living in sin as we have been "cohabitating" for the past three years. And to think that bum just put a ring on it. Beyonce would not be proud.

I ramble. That is my thing. I should trademark it but I'm too lazy. That is also my thing. So I need help learning how to:

1) be terse. Ha! I did it, that was a simple and short explanation for the goal for which I am trying to achieve.

2) be a good housewife a la 1950s. Just kidding. Or am I? Not sure and I'm too lazy to figure that one out. I should call Sean Spencer or that other hack on CBS to figure it out for me. Ah. I was just reminded of "Dr." Laura. Thanks for referring her to me, betrothed. I have a feeling I know where you stand on this issue. Kitchen it is.

3) plan this wedding. I have questions that need answers and my magic 8 ball is being a bit to terse for my liking. Maybe it will give me lessons- "try back again later." Tease.

So, please. Help. Suggest "thoughts" and "ideas" about wedding stuff. I have heard of these terms in college but let's be honest. It was CSUS. We had curtains for doors in our bathrooms. I'm glad I know the difference between left/right. Nope. I take that back. I do know a lot about the Real World/Road Rules Challenges though (especially the "Runs").


  1. Worry not, I'll be sure to stop by the nearest Carl's Jr and gorge myself on a huge $6 burger. Alec will be jealous.

  2. He will turn green- from the excessive amounts of foliage, I presume. Be sure to pack a napkin, or five as I have seen their commercials, as we wouldn't want a bovine crime scene smeared all over your face for our wedding pics.